Camp Majik is a free camp for children who have experienced the death of a parent, guardian or other close family member. There are 2 upcoming sessions that happen over or right after the RCPS Fall Break (Camp Woodland, Temple, GA, 10/2-10/4; YWCO Camp, Clarkesville, GA, October 16-18.
Camp Majik Website
www.campmagik.org
Applications in English & Espanol can be found by clicking here.
The students and parents who have done these have said they were wonderful experiences! I'm happy to print and fax applications here at school if that helps you out.
Showing posts with label Grief. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Grief. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Children's Possible Reactions to a Death
When reacting to a death, a child may display behaviors such as the following:
• Clings close to adults
• Displays regressive behaviors
• Appears not to be affected
• Thinks about it privately
• Asks a lot of questions
• Appears frightened
• Appears agitated and angry
• Appears sad and withdrawn
• Displays difficulty sleeping
I strongly recommend that parents listen carefully to their children. If they seem to need to talk, answer their question simply, honestly and possibly over and over again. Below are some suggestions that you may find useful in helping your child deal with the death:
•Assure fearful children that you will be there to take care of them. Reassure them many times.
•Provide physical closeness. Spend extra time putting your child to bed. Talk and offer reassurance.
•Encourage children to ask questions and to discuss, write or draw their feelings.
•Be a good listener. Listen carefully for any misconceptions or distortions the student may have regarding what happened.
•Talk with your child and provide simple, accurate information to questions.
•Provide play and fun experiences to relieve tension.
•Help the child develop safety plans and procedures (What should you do if …………..?)
•Remind them of concrete examples of where they are being protected and cared for by parents, adults, teachers, police, etc.
•Make sure the child gets rest and exercise.
Source: Rockdale County Public Schools Crisis Response Materials
• Clings close to adults
• Displays regressive behaviors
• Appears not to be affected
• Thinks about it privately
• Asks a lot of questions
• Appears frightened
• Appears agitated and angry
• Appears sad and withdrawn
• Displays difficulty sleeping
I strongly recommend that parents listen carefully to their children. If they seem to need to talk, answer their question simply, honestly and possibly over and over again. Below are some suggestions that you may find useful in helping your child deal with the death:
•Assure fearful children that you will be there to take care of them. Reassure them many times.
•Provide physical closeness. Spend extra time putting your child to bed. Talk and offer reassurance.
•Encourage children to ask questions and to discuss, write or draw their feelings.
•Be a good listener. Listen carefully for any misconceptions or distortions the student may have regarding what happened.
•Talk with your child and provide simple, accurate information to questions.
•Provide play and fun experiences to relieve tension.
•Help the child develop safety plans and procedures (What should you do if …………..?)
•Remind them of concrete examples of where they are being protected and cared for by parents, adults, teachers, police, etc.
•Make sure the child gets rest and exercise.
Source: Rockdale County Public Schools Crisis Response Materials
Monday, July 27, 2009
Development Stages in a Child's Understanding of Death or Loss
by Deb Sims, MS,RNCS,LCSW
Ages 3 to 6:
At this stage a child sees things as reversible and temporary. They may believe in "magical thinking" and that their thoughts can cause things to happen. This can work in either direction causing them to blame themselves unnecessarily or believe if they are "good" enough perhaps their parent will return. Often, children will exhibit nightmares, confusion, revert to an earlier stage of development or even seem to be unaffected by the death.
Ages 7 to 8:
Here a child will begin to see death as final. They may have lost an animal at this point but they usually don't think about it as happening to them. They see it more as something that may occur in an accident, like a car accident or only in old age. They may show an unusual interest in knowing the details surrounding death, begin asking what happens after death, or again act as if nothing has happened. Social development is occurring during this stage so they'll watch how others respond and may even want to know how they should act.
Ages 9 and up:
By now the child understands that death is final and irreversible. They not only know it could happen to someone else but also to themselves. They may exhibit a wide range of feelings including: shock, denial, anxiety and fear, anger, depression even withdrawal. Their reactions begin to be much more like an adult except they may act out their grief by behavioral changes at home or school.
Source: Karen Gannon Griffith, GSCA Fall Conference 2006
Ages 3 to 6:
At this stage a child sees things as reversible and temporary. They may believe in "magical thinking" and that their thoughts can cause things to happen. This can work in either direction causing them to blame themselves unnecessarily or believe if they are "good" enough perhaps their parent will return. Often, children will exhibit nightmares, confusion, revert to an earlier stage of development or even seem to be unaffected by the death.
Ages 7 to 8:
Here a child will begin to see death as final. They may have lost an animal at this point but they usually don't think about it as happening to them. They see it more as something that may occur in an accident, like a car accident or only in old age. They may show an unusual interest in knowing the details surrounding death, begin asking what happens after death, or again act as if nothing has happened. Social development is occurring during this stage so they'll watch how others respond and may even want to know how they should act.
Ages 9 and up:
By now the child understands that death is final and irreversible. They not only know it could happen to someone else but also to themselves. They may exhibit a wide range of feelings including: shock, denial, anxiety and fear, anger, depression even withdrawal. Their reactions begin to be much more like an adult except they may act out their grief by behavioral changes at home or school.
Source: Karen Gannon Griffith, GSCA Fall Conference 2006
Death & Grief: Tips for Parents
Put your oxygen mask on first!
➢ Ponder your own feelings about your mortality
➢ Examine your own issues, beliefs
➢ Consider how you deal with grief or intense emotions
Telling a child that a loved one has died
➢ Consider these questions:
• What is the age and maturity level of the child?
• Does the child understand the meaning of the words died and dead?
• Has the child experienced a death prior to now (pet, grandparent, classmate, friend, parent, teacher)?
• How was the child related to the deceased? How well did they know each other?
• What are the family’s religious beliefs about death?
• What were the circumstances surrounding the death?
• What is the child’s usual pattern of coping?
Establish rapport
➢ Open communication
➢ Be sensitive to child’s readiness to communicate
➢ Avoid any barriers which may inhibit the child’s attempt to communicate
What do you say?
➢ Answer truthfully and completely (but don't share traumatic details)
➢ Answer only what is being asked
➢ Ask questions to check for understanding
➢ Keep your answers short and simple
Avoid euphemisms and confusing explanations of death
➢ Use simple terms
➢ Euphemisms tend to confuse rather than comfort
➢ Avoid making statements that will have to be retracted later
➢ Be careful with religious phrases
What do you do?
➢ Ok for the children to see you upset
➢ Encourage the expression of feelings
➢ Accept the feelings and reactions expressed by the child
Provide reassurance
➢ Be specific about rarity of death
➢ Talk about the “what ifs”
➢ May go through some fear of death and/or separation anxiety
Integrate personal religious beliefs into the explanations
Remember you will have to revisit/repeat this conversation often
➢ It takes at least 6 months for most children to work their way through the grieving process
Help the child complete the tasks of grieving
➢ Celebrate and remember the relationship
➢ Commemorate the relationship
The basic tasks of grieving are:
• Understanding
• Grieving
• Commemorating
Successful grieving helps person to:
• Accept the reality of the loss
• Experience the pain of grief
• Adjust to an environment in which the deceased is missing
• Withdraw emotional energy and reinvest it in another relationship
Source: Karen Gannon Griffith, GSCA Fall Conference 2006
➢ Ponder your own feelings about your mortality
➢ Examine your own issues, beliefs
➢ Consider how you deal with grief or intense emotions
Telling a child that a loved one has died
➢ Consider these questions:
• What is the age and maturity level of the child?
• Does the child understand the meaning of the words died and dead?
• Has the child experienced a death prior to now (pet, grandparent, classmate, friend, parent, teacher)?
• How was the child related to the deceased? How well did they know each other?
• What are the family’s religious beliefs about death?
• What were the circumstances surrounding the death?
• What is the child’s usual pattern of coping?
Establish rapport
➢ Open communication
➢ Be sensitive to child’s readiness to communicate
➢ Avoid any barriers which may inhibit the child’s attempt to communicate
What do you say?
➢ Answer truthfully and completely (but don't share traumatic details)
➢ Answer only what is being asked
➢ Ask questions to check for understanding
➢ Keep your answers short and simple
Avoid euphemisms and confusing explanations of death
➢ Use simple terms
➢ Euphemisms tend to confuse rather than comfort
➢ Avoid making statements that will have to be retracted later
➢ Be careful with religious phrases
What do you do?
➢ Ok for the children to see you upset
➢ Encourage the expression of feelings
➢ Accept the feelings and reactions expressed by the child
Provide reassurance
➢ Be specific about rarity of death
➢ Talk about the “what ifs”
➢ May go through some fear of death and/or separation anxiety
Integrate personal religious beliefs into the explanations
Remember you will have to revisit/repeat this conversation often
➢ It takes at least 6 months for most children to work their way through the grieving process
Help the child complete the tasks of grieving
➢ Celebrate and remember the relationship
➢ Commemorate the relationship
The basic tasks of grieving are:
• Understanding
• Grieving
• Commemorating
Successful grieving helps person to:
• Accept the reality of the loss
• Experience the pain of grief
• Adjust to an environment in which the deceased is missing
• Withdraw emotional energy and reinvest it in another relationship
Source: Karen Gannon Griffith, GSCA Fall Conference 2006
Funerals & Children
Can or should children attend a funeral? As adults, the challenge is often to share enough information regarding death without saying too MUCH or too LITTLE. Children naturally begin to understand death as toddlers and youngsters (pets, insects, etc.). Every situation is different, but children can benefit from attending a funeral. Nothing replaces the judgment of a parent/guardian because you know your child the best, but I would encourage parents to think about how to teach children about death in a healthy, age appropriate way. Death is a natural part of life and we aren't helping children by sheltering them from it. We can find ways to be honest with them without sharing details that would be traumatic to them. I'm always happy to talk with parents about how to approach this subject with children of all ages.
Karen Gannon Griffith shared the below information in a seminar she led at the GSCA Fall Conference 2006.
Can Children Attend a Funeral?
If a child can attend a wedding, then can attend a funeral
➢ Is child old enough to sit quietly for that length of time?
➢ Is child old enough not to disrupt the ceremony?
➢ Is child old enough to let adults do what they have to do?
It can be a helpful experience
➢ Closure
➢ Learning experience
➢ Part of life
Educate and explain before you go
➢ It is a ceremony that happens when someone dies.
➢ What might they see?
➢ Where/when will it take place?
➢ What kind of clothing is appropriate?
➢ It is OK to cry – in fact, many might be crying
➢ What will happen after the ceremony?
Karen Gannon Griffith shared the below information in a seminar she led at the GSCA Fall Conference 2006.
Can Children Attend a Funeral?
If a child can attend a wedding, then can attend a funeral
➢ Is child old enough to sit quietly for that length of time?
➢ Is child old enough not to disrupt the ceremony?
➢ Is child old enough to let adults do what they have to do?
It can be a helpful experience
➢ Closure
➢ Learning experience
➢ Part of life
Educate and explain before you go
➢ It is a ceremony that happens when someone dies.
➢ What might they see?
➢ Where/when will it take place?
➢ What kind of clothing is appropriate?
➢ It is OK to cry – in fact, many might be crying
➢ What will happen after the ceremony?
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